Tanzania Hope 101

Isaiah 55:8-9

          “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.  For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.”

          I am late in blogging but I have always been one who needs a little extra time to process.  I have wrestled over the past three weeks to understand faith.  Six years ago I did a Bible Study called “Believing God” and I was set free by the truth that our righteousness does not come from works but from our faith in God.  We can be confident of this truth from reading the testimonies listed in Hebrews 11 and from Romans 4:7 which states “Abraham’s faith was credited to him as righteousness.”   Since that study, I have desired to increase my faith and experience more of God.  In many ways, it is for this very reason that I wanted to go Africa with my family.  In fact, looking back to one of my prior posts I wrote that God had impressed upon me that, “This trip is all about faith.”  This trip was indeed all about faith, but in ways I never would have imagined and it is still transforming both my mind and heart. 

          Flying to Africa, I was excited about all the opportunities we would have to trust and rely on God and experience His power and I sincerely felt that going to Africa was a big step of faith.  However, my perspective quickly changed soon after landing in Kigoma, Tanzania as I began to meet amazing men and women of faith who depended on God for literally everything.  They were so rich in faith because of the trials they faced every day while living in Africa.  Romans 5:3-4 says, “We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance.  And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.”  This “hope” is faith according to Hebrews 11:1 “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”  It was in reconciling these truths that I began to feel very poor and lame.  It was not condemnation I felt, it was simply the reality of seeing my faith for what it truly was, tiny, maybe the size of a mustard seed. 

          I was particularly challenged, Tuesday, June 29 while teaching the kids at camp about Ephesians 6, the Armor of God, and what it means to have a Shield of Faith.  As part of the lesson that day, I taught the kids five statements of faith that I had learned in the Believing God Bible Study.  They were; 1)  God is Who He says He is 2) God can do what He says He can do 3) I am who God says I am 4) I can do all things through Christ and 5) God’s word is alive and living in me.  Saying these statements of faith in America felt so different than Africa.  For example, when I studied these statements of faith in America it took much less faith to believe that God is who He says He is in my circumstance because on my worst day I always had all my basic needs more than covered.  It was really tough for me to teach these statements that day because to be completely honestly at that moment I was not confident that I had enough faith to claim these promises for these children and the adversity they faced.

          I was humbled and I felt such conviction as I spoke God’s truth and examined my own faith and wondered how strong my faith would be if I lived under the same circumstances as these children.  How hard would it be to believe God’s promises if my family rejected me when I decided to follow Jesus or even beat me because of my faith?  What if I went days without eating?  Would I still believe God?  I kept thinking, “These kids need to teach me about what it means to have a shield of faith, they have faced true trials and hardships and are believing God everyday and seeing Him as faithful.”  Their faith amazed me and the faith of their youth leaders astounded me even more as we did ministry together over the weeks and I got to know them and love them.  They loved God with all their hearts, minds and soul and they lived completely for Christ.  They loved God’s word and were hungry to learn more about God at every chance they had.  High school age men would stop our husbands at gatherings and even on the side of the road on day to bring their lists of questions about scripture, desiring to talk for hours about God’s word and truth.  This is no exaggeration.  They were passionate about sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ because it had changed their lives, gave them hope and their compassion for their people drove them to action everywhere they went. 

          It was through these experiences in Africa that I felt completely poor.   It is true that our family makes well over one-hundred times what these families make, yet they honestly were one-hundred times richer in faith than me. The verse from Matthew 19:23-24 kept ringing in my head, “Then Jesus said to his disciples, “I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.  Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”  I began to understand this verse in ways that I never had before and I wept while wondering, “Can I have faith in America?”  Is it even possible to have faith when the abundance I have been given keeps me from developing dependence, intimacy and faith in God.  I felt spoiled, lame and unlovable but as I prayed God assured me that although my surroundings and perspective had changed His love for me had not.  He reminded me that He was growing my faith.  He is faithful and unchanging.  For he who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus, Philippians 1:6.

          Now, that I have been humbled and understand the true weak state of my faith, God and I are working on figuring out what it looks like for me to live by faith daily in America.  If I am serious about my faith I must be vigilant and put forth both effort and prayer to live differently and I must trust each adversity I am given to build my faith, rather than seek escape and comfort.  And until I am called home to meet Jesus face to face I will trust God’s love for me in all circumstances and claim the promise Jesus made to His disciples in Matthew 17:20, “He replied, “Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

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